Premature ejaculation is nothing to be ashamed of. Read about how to fix it and improve the quality of your sex life.
Popping the champagne bottle earlier than you had intended is every man’s worst nightmare. After all, it is and has always been the first thing people talk about when ranking sexual performance. You then have to brace yourself for her reaction, which might be a poorly masked mixture of “Seriously?” and “Oh, you poor soul.”
The thing is – sprinting to the finish line early is not the deal-breaker you believe it to be. It has more to do with the shame and embarrassment you feel afterward rather than the perceived disappointment your partner has in you.
What is premature ejaculation, and is there anything you can do about it? Here’s everything you need to know.
What Is Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation, or PE for short, occurs when a man has an orgasm and ends up ejaculating sooner than they or their partner would like during intercourse. Early ejaculation, premature climax, and rapid ejaculation are all different terms used to describe the condition.
PE on its own is not usually a cause for worry. The issues arise when it happens frequently. It not only makes sex less enjoyable for you and your partner, but it can also put a strain on your relationship in the long run.
While premature ejaculation is often attributed to psychological factors, biology could also play a role. The central nervous system controls the ejaculatory process. When a man is sexually stimulated, signals are sent to the brain and the spinal cord. When sexual excitement reaches a certain threshold, the brain then sends signals to the male reproductive organs, causing the ejection of semen through the penis, i.e., ejaculation.
Ejaculation is a touchy subject for both men and women. Most men grappling with the condition often find it shameful and embarrassing, when in actual fact, it should not be. Approximately 31 percent of adult Australian males suffer from premature ejaculation, making it one of the most common types of sexual dysfunctions in men.
How Premature Ejaculation Affects Your Sex Life
When a man climaxes too early, it is often a sign that intercourse is good for him. On the other hand, women are capable of having multiple orgasms, so sex can heat up and cool down for them during the same love-making session. This is an entirely different story for men since male hormones reduce significantly once they ejaculate. Unfortunately, given the long recovery time required post-orgasm, it often leaves their partner feeling frustrated and ungratified.
PE can really put a damper on your sex life, but not for the reason you think. Most women in relationships with men who suffer from premature ejaculation report sexual dissatisfaction and low sex drive.
According to the results of a 2014 study, the reason for their lack of sexual gratification isn’t because of the shorter duration of intercourse. They attribute the real problem to the fact that their partners are too focused on delaying ejaculation and boosting their performance instead of paying attention to their needs.
The reason why your relationship is taking a beating has less to do with your actual PE and more to do with you obsessing over it when your attention should be on pleasing your partner. As a result, you may come off as selfish in bed.
If the results from this study are anything to go by, it proves that suffering from PE shouldn’t be the source of your shame and embarrassment. The real problem is your fixation on performance.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation
Many people assume that a lack of self-confidence, frustration, and anxiety can lead to PE. The reality is – these are all end results of the condition.
On the flip side, long-term cases of PE can result from those conditions. Before you know it, you’re caught up in a vicious cycle of guilt, frustration, anxiety, and ejaculation issues.
Unfortunately, this never-ending cycle has led to the demise of many relationships. Common psychological causes of PE include:
- Depression – Individuals battling depression often suffer from a lack of motivation, disturbed sleep patterns, low mood, and reduced sex drive. Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are two common sexual disorders associated with the condition.
- Early conditioning – A man’s sexual behaviour is often influenced by his early sexual behaviour. For instance, ejaculating quickly to avoid getting caught having sex or masturbating.
- Sexual inexperience – This is particularly common in younger men who are keen on asserting their virility. As a result, they place a high value on sexual performance and potency. Failure in that regard is seen as a slur on their sense of masculinity.
- Stress – Work-related pressures, relationship issues, and financial woes can all affect sexual performance. A bit of stress in certain situations can be good for you. Extreme stress for a prolonged period has the opposite effect on your sexual wellbeing.
- Strict upbringing – This is common in cases where a man was raised to view sex as a sinful, shameful activity that should be used strictly for procreation purposes.
- Trauma – Traumatic events ranging from being caught having sex or masturbating to being sexually abused as a child can lead to sexual dysfunctions such as PE.
How to Fix Premature Ejaculation
Medication, physiotherapy, and psychological therapy are the main treatment options available for PE. Depending on the root cause of your condition, your healthcare provider may employ more than one type of treatment.
Psychological therapy helps you work out the emotions and feelings that could be causing PE. It may also help reduce the anxiety related to sexual performance.
Working with a physiotherapist teaches you exercises you can do to build tolerance, therefore, delaying ejaculation. Most of these exercises usually target the pelvic floor muscles. Pelvic yoga, pelvic floor relaxation, and the use of cutting-edge technologies like Emsella to strengthen these muscles have proven success rates in fixing PE.
As far as medication goes, there are several numbing sprays and creams available that may help desensitize the penis to slow ejaculation.
Book a consultation with a physiotherapist today to explore all your available options for fixing PE.